It's Complicated

If there is one thing I really love about facebook, it is the greater understanding of human relationships shown here, as compared to many other networking sites. A very good example of this is that the options for one's relationship status are not limited to the usual "single", "married", "in a relationship" etc.....there is the additional much inclusive term "it's complicated"....which, from what I understand, sums up the myriad of emotions and equations and situations which two individuals may find themselves in.

Based quite unscientifically on vicarious experiences, general knowledge and evening gossip sessions, I have noticed a few trends...I don't know if this has always been a trend, whether it is limited to my age-group, or whether it is a newer phenomenon.....but more and more people are marrying later in life, more young individuals are increasingly opting for a situation of "let's-just-like-each-other-and-not-go-out-but-enjoy-the-normal-benefits(?)-of-a-relationship-while-being-available-for-dating-other-people" (Whew! What a mouthful!), (also known as an "open relationship", or, for the extremely relationship phobic individual...an "open equation",), people are increasingly not willing to endure commitment in any form (dating, marriage, relationships etc), AND, ironically enough, the divorce rate is steadily rising!

I find the last bit ironical because even though people don't seem to view marriage as a lasting commitment, they are STILL afraid of getting anywhere further than a few dates, and maybe a bit of movement in the backseat of a car!

To move in a tangential path for a moment (or perhaps for the rest of this post), what IS commitment? Based on a completely different discussion on a completely unrelated topic at my church youth group, I've come to understand that commitment is about taking a leap....a decision to move from some position to another, involving a mental decision to devote oneself in as many ways as one can to a chosen task/way of living/ person, etc. So then, could it be that my generation prefers status quo...staying unattached...leaving zilch scope for leaps or jumps of any sort?...

....Come to think of it, given the high split/divorce rate, reflecting the many leaps being taken back to the unattached status.. perhaps it isn't even about status quo....perhaps it has something to do with "two becoming one" versus "independence"....and a tendency to slide from the former to the latter...perhaps in the same manner as water flows from a higher level to a lower one.

Then again, despite the whole "I am a rock" mantra, it seems as though most single people I meet are "looking for someone"....for what purpose they do this is generally left undefined...but what seems clear is that independence, in the pure and whole sense of the world isn't really what my generation craves?

So then what is it? What is it that drives people to look for partners and simultaneously be commitment-phobic? Are all these trends really trends...or merely broad and unscientific generalizations?? Does love have anything to do with any of these??? And what exactly IS an "open-equation"?????....

...As some wise man said (I'm sure somebody HAD to have said this....if not, just quote me... ;-D )....."IT'S COMPLICATED!!"