On the steps of Moorgate station

It was around this day, ten years ago, that I met my P as a grown-up. At an entrance to Moorgate station. It was a warm summer's day, my first week in London, and we stood amidst the rush hour commuters as they parted midstream to avoid us. He had just come off a night shift. I was running late for a class. I don't remember us saying very much. I do remember us smiling. We bought an orange juice from the EAT opposite. P may have offered to show me around London. It was an ordinary weekday moment and neither of us had any idea yet how important we would become to each other. It was the quiet start of something beautiful and a moment I always remember every time I pass by that station.

Freeze these moments in time

I feel content. And happy, warm, cosy, loved. There have been so many times over the last 6 months when I have wanted to freeze moments in time and live in them forever. 

The three of us playing the piano together in the evenings; sun lit afternoon walks in our neighbourhood parks with little J on P's shoulders...holding his ears tightly like reins; naps with J cuddled up under blankets together; evenings with P snuggled on the sofa watching Star Trek...hoping J gives us a peaceful hour; introducing J to the wonder of splash pools, ducks, hide and seek, cats, aeroplanes...pretty much everything; meal times together in our garden; waking up to find J beaming at us and shaking the bars of her cot; unexpected cuddles and kisses from J in the middle of her play;...so many more memories!

I didn't expect to enjoy motherhood as much as I have. I didn't expect to love my little J as much as I do. I didn't expect P and I to be as cohesive a team as we have been. These have been wonderful months that have suffused me with love and happiness.

The pandemic has made itself felt. P's redeployment and his dad's time in hospital has kept the virus real for us. But it has only highlighted the precious time that P, J and I have together. 

I have enjoyed being married to P. I always thought that things couldn't have got better than our togetherness the last many years. Little J has been the icing on our cake in ways I never imagined possible. 

I have so much to be thankful for.