Just a thought.

Living by the river. Dreaming of the wide sea. 

My heart's always drifting. Better lives there must be.

Mr. M.N. Holla

My first memories are of living at my grandpa's house. I remember he was always the first to get up in the morning making tea and chapatis, I remember walking with him some afternoons to Rajanna's milk farm across the parallel road to get fresh cow's milk for tea, playing "who talks last" in the passenger's seat while he drove his old blue left-hand drive around, and listening wide-eyed to his anecdotes about his childhood in the village at Mangalore and of the Arabs and Europeans he worked with in Kuwait. I remember him helping me learn Kannada for school exams, praying at all our family lunches and most recently celebrating my birthday with me along with my Grandma and Aunty Joyce. He was a very friendly and generous man, always giving others and helping everybody he could. He would smile even at strangers and the number of people in just our neighbourhood who knew Mr. Holla and considered him a friend outnumbers my list of so-called "friends" from across the world on facebook. I can vouch for the fact that he made the best chicken biryani, and while I used to grumble about eating his chicken curry as a child, I now miss it and can't imagine growing up without it. 

I remember him always coming for every school event, be it sports day, my prize distribution days, my graduation, always reminding us that he built the Flack auditorium at school and always being so very proud to say he was our grandfather. And today, I am proud to say that I am his granddaughter. Proverbs 13:22 says that a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children and I believe that my life is so blessed because of the way grandpa lived. He left an inheritance of the richest blessings for Rachel and I and for Joshua, Jonathan, David, Lia and Gil. There were many hardships he faced and sacrifices he made looking after my grandmom and his six children and he took a difficult stand when he chose to follow Christ as a young man, but God was a father to him and took care of all his needs, gave him a long life, good health for most of it, and provided for every member of this family. God used him to reach others as well, be it through his work with the Gideon Ministry, the Brethren church in Kuwait which first started in my grandma and his home, his work on the board at Elim in Whitefield and the numbers of people he gave lifts to in his car.  It amazes me how the choices made by one man to serve God have had such a cascading effect not just on his own family but also on so many others.

A passage which had a profound effect on his life and led him to God as a young man is found in both Mark 8:36 and Matthew 16:26 - "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" I am sad that he is no longer with us and wish I could be there at his funeral, but it is a great encouragement to know that even if my grandpa is no longer in this world his soul is safe with Jesus and I will meet him again someday.

Is there a holiday in sight?

The first exam hurdle has been attempted, and now I'm keeping my fingers crossed and my prayers flowing that it has actually been crossed. I'm tired now though. There's been a headache on since last Wednesday which isn't going and I have to admit I'm quite annoyed with it! Maybe I should get my eyes checked...hmmm...possibility.

It's good to be back to the real world, and the best feeling in a week and a half was walking home the night after the exam, and seeing the night sky and the boats and feeling the cold night breeze. It's good to be alive.

I still feel like I'm on autopilot though. My brain got fried sometime over the last week and there's a robot going through the motions now.

I can't wait to get away. A holiday is definitely the way to go!

Thank you to all those who prayed for my study and the exam, and those who messaged in providing a human lifeline, and to NWD, MNP, and RAP2 for bearing with all my stressed out shenanigans.

Have a good week all. ;-)

"Down the only road I've ever been down"

I haven't blogged in a long time. I think that's partly because the angsty college bit of me disappeared since the end of university....no matter what people say about college being the best years of your life, I think I like the grown-up world a whole lot better! Or maybe it's just London. :o)

On the whole, despite the rain, I've been happy. I think a lot of this has to do with my church community (at the barge - check it out here - http://www.stpetersbarge.org/ ).  It's been encouraging to see the level of support people give to one another, in practical matters (could I borrow a single fork for my dinner party please?), emotional ones (so and so and I aren't talking, I'm not handling this well, what do I do??) and of course spiritual (how's your quiet time going?). And the warmth extended to newcomers (like me, ten months ago). Despite the diversity reflected in church, I've never had so many like-minded friends all at one go, and this has been such a strong reminder that no matter where we are and what our background/age/race/nationality, there is one person uniting all of us in a more powerful way than I ever imagined before. I'm so glad to be part of this family.

I love my work. I seriously sincerely do. And I like seeing how I've grown over the last 10 months...my confidence, my skills. It's great to be able to wake up in the morning (most days...sometimes that's when I'm going to bed) and know that I have the rest of the day to do something I actually enjoy!

At the moment, though, I'm very very tired. Working all day and studying most of the night is beginning to tell. Fingers crossed this exam gets done in the first attempt. I don't think I could stand to study this mountain of paper yet again!!!

I live in the hope of an exam-free tomorrow (read post-September into that....there are two more to go once this is done)! Until then, shalom, and as my granddad says, smile those clouds away! ;-)

(I had pictures to add, but blogspot/the internet/my computer) isn't letting me upload at the moment

Almost two months in.

I can't believe it will soon be two months!

Where has the time gone?!

I live for the weekends. That's when this city comes alive to me....music and theatre and church and friends and sleeping in late and adequately long phone conversations and long walks and the city and fresh cold air and rest.

Music is stirring within me again. It can't be missed. Everywhere in this city it calls to me and envelops my soul. Fulfillment I haven't found in a long while. And I'm playing the piano again. Schubert and Chopin flow through my fingers. Impressionistic and romantic. Where have they been all these years? How could I ever have let them go?

And God is very real again. With guardian angels stationed at every tube stop, at every unfamiliar crossroad, and in some old known faces.

So here are some pics from a lovely lovely day. Pics courtesy Annie, who is a wonderful photographer and even caught the sea gulls.

Hugs to everybody back home.

I'm Here!

British Museum

The O2

The Monument

I have arrived! Two years of waiting and mentally preparing myself are now over.

It's been good so far. I've been blessed to meet good, kind, and warm people over the last few days. The weather's just like home at the moment, and my hair is behaving. Behaving very well actually...putting up its best front for a new place I suppose.

I hope to settle on a church soon. Everybody on the Barge has been very welcoming, I could think it would make a good home church, but want to check out a few other options first.

An apartment is under negotiation, but the hostel is a very cheerful place to be in for the moment.

If my family and closest friends could be here with me, life would be complete.

Till later then. 

A page about to turn...

I treated the first of my "juniors-to-be-treated" today. It reminded me of some happy moments in law school...of poetry and concerts, and first year perm time (oh yes, excitement associated with that too!), of friends made and kept over 4/5 years, of dreams fulfilled, of hours spent in bookshops (and yes, I was right, the high piles of books did have to fall!!)...and so many other things. Nice things. This is what treats are about....this, and of course, pleasant company and conversation.

I know everybody's been doing this, and I guess I'm ready to do this now. So here are some of my favourite moments from law school...there have been others, but these are the ones which spring to mind....

1. The singing auditions, first year, and singing Masquerade. Sallie and Thomas judging and being very serious.
2. My first few LSC trips.
3. Talking until the wee hours of the morning in the Training Centre with JTP and AM.
4. CR election results, second trimester. 
5. Long walk in the very early hours of the morning with JTP in the Nags forests (is it a forest?).
6. Motorbiking to Magadi and back with Dev M..taking every detour possible on the way and swinging from trees.
7. The singing auditions, second year...and finding and releasing my voice's power with "Rainbow High".
8. History being taught by Rohit De....and my very first "O" Grade!
9. Poetry-sharing with Don in second year.
10. Poetry-sharing with Gautam Bhatia on the training centre steps. (This looks like the start of a beautiful friendship!)
11. Family Law.
12. Walks and talks with Sasch.
13. Univ Week.
14. Exploring the Amazon River virtually with Vikram. 
15. Long walks and talks with Vikram/Gow/Madhav/permutations of them in BU campus.
16. Terrace chats with Sallie.
17. Walks and talks with Tuhina.
18. Singing "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" and finally winning WMD vocal solo!! 
19. "Paper Rain" duet with Sanj and being a mentor.
20. Most DISCO room-checking duty times, long chats, and the friends I've made in that bunch of first year girls.
21. The Mid-Law school party....even all the running to cunningham road for medicines and the mad ride back to college in the car (that was the most fun actually!)
22. Buying wine with Shore as a Christmas present for my parents and most of that evening actually. 
23. Massage sessions with Kush.
24. Watching NWD's skydiving video in the common room. Nandhivarman being so helpful. More helpful than he could have ever realized then.
25. The night before leaving for the Worlds in fourth year....wrongly believing I had click-locked my keys inside the suitcase, and all the associated tamasha.
26. Heart to heart convos with Annie.
27. At Heera Panna with Roh, Annie, Krish and Kush.
28. The "infamous" girls' night out with Sushila and Sonam...(and yes, Sonam, I know there was nothing infamous about it....but let's just say there was... ;-) )
29. Walks around campus with Gow.
30. Walks around campus with NWD.
31. Strawberry Fields in my fourth year and NWD.
32. Deewar lunches with Nandhivarman.
33. Dinner at Rohini with some of my favourite people, Annie, Gow and NWD....and ordering more garlic in the egg burji and debating less.
34. Culcomm meetings.
35. Getting "The Call" from CC.
36. The first LPD class for the third years...experiencing the other side of the podium.
37. "Tainted Blood" - the performance and all the practices and people. Meghna, you fulfilled my last unfulfilled fulfillable wish in law school. 
38. Writing this post and feeling grateful for all the good times.